One thing that the 2018 Marriage Survey of our readers showed us was that we all want to pray with our husbands, but going about that isn’t exactly our strong suit. So, we decided to come at this from our own experience, hoping to share some of the journey with you. This is Part I in our Praying with Your Husband 2018 Series, featuring Rachel’s tips on identifying your prayer languages. Check back each remaining week in February for more insights and tips from Rachel, Kristi, and Bridgette and here’s a bonus from the archives: a guest post from Old-Fashioned Girl’s Chloe Langr.
Three years into this journey with The Scientist, we’ve come a long way in our prayer life together. When we first got married our prayer life was all over the place. We did not have set times or a place to come together to pray, and we weren’t even on the same page when it came to how to pray. Having come from different praying backgrounds, getting on the same page was difficult.
Praying the Same Language
Having two different prayer languages and fusing them into one is an ongoing journey. Growing up, praying was a part of everyday life; not only in formal form, but also with everyday, free-form language.
The Scientist grew up with more of formal prayer and a strict schedule. Coming together to pray for the first time was all over the place.
We decided to learn our “prayer language,” which we based on the 5 Love Languages. I have no idea if that is a thing in the Catholic World, but it is definitely the way we learned to pray together in our home.
Our “Prayer Languages” are: Acts of Service, Touch, Adoration, Love Letters to God, and Giving Gifts. They’ve really helped us to connect with God.
Acts of Service
Volunteering or doing acts of charity with your spouse as a prayer makes you intentional about said prayer. It’s that feeling that you are communicating clearly with God while working for others and, if this is your prayer launguage, can make your prayer life feel fulfilled.
Holding hands with your spouse or embracing one other while praying can improve your focus on communicating with God. With your spouse giving you that physical support, that you may not realize you need, when praying can promote peace and calmness in your everyday life.
We based this one on Quality Time. This is our main language in praying. We feel that spending time with God in his real presence brings us closer together. Spending that quality time (whether in Adoration, daily Mass, in bed together, at the kitchen table) with one another to pray also has us, as a couple, together with God, which is, after all, how this covenant began.
This one is based on Words of Affirmation. Journaling is an effective way to converse with God, whether solo or as a couple. Creating a Prayer Journal that both you and your spouse can write prayers in can bring better communication with your prayer life and your marriage in general.
Spending money as a couple in order to help others and pray for others strengthens our foundation. Through almsgiving, donating to charities, adopting a family, donating to a shelter, or any other kind of outreach, we feel connected to not only those we help, but one another and God.
What’s Your Prayer Language?
Think about your love language (and your hubby’s), and how that applies to your prayer preferences. What’s your prayer language?
For more ways to utilize love languages in your marriage, check out this post.