If you’ve been following our blog for a while, then you know that Rachel and I are awesome friends. You may also know that we love all things fall, including pumpkins, the changing of the leaves, boots, and scarves. Further, you may be aware that we both met our husbands on CatholicMatch and then I met mine after being urged by Rachel to join CatholicMatch. You can read about our successes in the world of online dating here.
What you may not know is that we were both married in the fall. I’ve just celebrated my first year of marriage with Superman exactly one month ago, and Rachel’s third with the Scientist was last week. In honor of these anniversaries, and remembering why we founded this blog to begin with, which was to support the vocation of marriage as understood within the Catholic Church, we thought we would reflect on our marriage journeys thus far.
2017 was a very big year for both of us…as was 2016…and we met in 2015…2018 is shaping up to be quite the year, too, so, really…we’ve been pretty busy since we met!
2015: The meeting of Rachel and Kristi at a Catholic Daughters of the Americas meeting. The joining of CatholicMatch by Kristi. The first anniversary for Rachel and the Scientist. Babies born into Heaven. Just barely the year that Kristi and Superman met online (like, December 30).
2016: The meeting of Rachel, the Scientist, Kristi, and Superman. The premature stillbirth of Rachel’s son, Tripp. The engagement and wedding of Kristi and Superman. The second anniversary for Rachel and the Scientist. The “familymoon” with Little Miss.
2017: The conception, premature birth, and loss of Rachel’s daughter, Frances. The career change of Superman. The conception of Kristi’s second daughter, Belle. More babies born into Heaven. The first anniversary of Kristi and Superman. The third anniversary of Rachel and the Scientist. Kristi moving.
As you can see, there’s been a lot that could’ve weighed very heavily on our marriages. How’d we do? Read on!
Last October, I walked into my parish ready to marry this wonderful, hilarious, sensitive, kind-hearted, Catholic man. I felt not one trace of nerves: we just fit. Not everything went according to plan, but it was the perfect day. (If you’re interested, you can read my open letter to my bride self on Spoken Bride here).
One year in and I am happy to report that we are busy, sometimes overwhelmed, and unable to function without a family dry-erase board calendar; but we are happy.
We were both single into our thirties, so our ways were pretty set when we met. Luckily, though, we complement one another perfectly. He’s a champion launderer of all the fabric and I am a decent dishwasher of all things containing food. Holidays have become a manageable, streamlined, stress-free thing (for this year, at least). Money is still something that can be a topic of tension: I mean, who really enjoys budgeting?! Otherwise, though, our life experience alone blends together to create the family that I’d always hoped for as a young woman.
We laugh constantly. I can’t emphasize enough how much I think that matters in marriage. Humor, levity, and community are all joined together in laughter.
We’re balancing work-home life, keeping up with our eight year-old Little Miss, moving (this week!), and expecting our second daughter in the spring. We like to think that we’ll slow down eventually, but that’s never really been our style. I am so psyched to see what we encounter in the rest of our second year of marriage.
The morning of November 21st, 2014 was beautiful and calm. I was up getting ready for my wedding to my best friend and soulmate.
I waited a long time for him to come along; I went down many wrong paths trying to find him. It was when I stopped searching for all the wrong places, I found my perfect-to-me mate for life.
That day went by in a flash; it felt like no time had passed and I was walking down the aisle. Our wedding was beautiful; it was on a Friday night. We had a full Mass and the pictures that my cousin-in-law took were breathtaking. It was our dream wedding and the party afterward went by way too quick.
The first year of marriage was tough on us. I know that in the marriage prep course (and advice from everyone) is that every day you should be working on your marriage. I had no idea what that meant, or the intensity of that, until I was married. I did not realize that my usual patient self (anyone who knows me would laugh) would have to compromise. The little things that we used to argue about: dishwasher manners, watching cool TV (not lame things); all those things were worked out that first year. It was quite a learning curve for both of us. We learned a lot about ourselves that first year and how to work through all the little things.
The second year was the year we really came together as a couple. We found our boundaries with each other and others. This was a big expectation and goal for us last year. Boundaries make good relationships great! We really started to pare down on what we were going to outside of our home. Too many extra activities made us worn out and crabby. When we slowed down it was as if we were courting again and finding our love all over again. It is such a sweet feeling.
The third year? 2017? Well since we have been married, we have faced a lot of hardships, tragedy, and emotional toil. We have been really fortifying as a couple to face these things with the power of God. God truly knew what he was doing when he put us together. The Scientist always knows how to encourage me, comfort me, and make me laugh. He always says that I bring joy, happiness, and fun into his everyday life. In real life, I am kind of a goofball and he is such handsome goof. Our life together is blessed and I am lucky to spend the rest of my life with him.