In Sickness…

Y’all, nothing shows the health of a marriage like sickness in the home. I don’t have scientific studies to back this up; no data or statistics. Just intuition and experience.

Flu & Strep, Flu, Flu, Flu…

It’s almost like a charming childhood ditty when you write it out like that, but the truth is that my house (and sometimes my office) has been like a Petri dish since Thanksgiving. Seriously. And it hasn’t been charming.

Little Miss with flu and strep. Superman with flu. Little Miss with the other kind of flu. Little Miss with strep and flu. Little Miss with a sinus infection. Then strep. And then flu. Me with anemia. Little Miss back strong with strep. Me with flu-like symptoms.

Fun.

Add to this a juxtaposed battle of insomnia and exhaustion, anxiety and frequent dizzy spells from the anemia, and now a slightly elevated blood pressure in this preggo lady.

And that’s not counting schedules.

In Sickness
#GratefulThings2018 I’m grateful that sickness revealed just how healthy my marriage is.

Scheduling & Sickness

School projects, tutoring, moms group, clubs, Bible study, church, extracurricular activities, Faith Formation, trainings, work, blogging, unpacking, cooking, cleaning.

The world doesn’t stop because we’re sick. Dang it. My house doesn’t stop creating dust and needing to be unpacked because we’re sick. Crap.

The onslaught of illness combined with the weight of our schedules has created a stressed-out, exhausted, pretty impatient (and slightly grumpy) Kristi, with only five weeks to go until Belle’s expected arrival.

Within Marriage

On top of the normal household tasks in marriage, sickness adds layers of being homebound (which is suuuuuper frustrating), using all of your patience on the needy, sick child, and opting to cuddle instead of moving the load of laundry from the washer to the dryer.

This results in a tired husband coming home to take over, but the laundry still doesn’t get done, so you end up washing it two more times before remembering to move it to the dryer. By now, you’re extra stressed and exhausted, so you cry. A lot. And you somehow want to blame your husband for it.

But then…

Your Knight in Shining Pajama Pants

He goes grocery shopping and picks up ice cream for you, even after you protest saying, “No, honey, I don’t really need ice cream.”

He buys roast and makes it for you in the pressure cooker to up your iron intake to help you fight anemia. And then brings you said roast in bed. And he only eats one serving, despite the fact that it’s his favorite food after pizza, because you need iron.

He kisses your forehead, smoothes back your hair, makes the coffee, and lets you sleep longer.

When you ask for the umpteenth massage in one day, he does so (ignoring his cramping hands) without a word.

But the best? He does the laundry. Completely through, from gathering to putting away. And you melt, just a little.

In Sickness

Sickness Reveals Health

This, my friends, is marriage. This is dying of self to serve your sick kiddo; your anemic wife.

I’ve said it before and here it is again: in stress, it’s easy to listen to the world and play the comparison game.

  • “My husband isn’t spending enough time with us, like Mary’s husband.”
  • “He’s actively involved in Johnny’s extracurriculars. Why can’t my husband be?”
  • “I just want a little help around the house!”

Don’t go there, girlfriend. I know it can be easy to be sucked down the rabbit hole. Don’t.

My husband and I are doing just fine in this vocation and, actually, I’m super grateful that sickness revealed that to me.

Kristi

About The Author

Hail Marry Blog

We’re Kristi & Rachel: best friends married to two awesome guys that we met on Catholic Match.

12 COMMENTS

  1. lesliesholly | 12th Feb 18

    I feel so bad for you. We are finishing flu for the second time here, and I am so tired of sickness, and it’s nothing like as bad as what y’all have been going through. I am praying for good health to return to all of you soon!

  2. Fouad | 12th Feb 18

    Prayers for your family!

  3. tojesussincerely | 12th Feb 18

    “So you cry. A lot.” haha yeppp. Usually that’s my solution, instead of asking for help! Praying for you! So far we avoided sickness, and I’m hoping it stays away!! I love your reminder not to compare our husbands.

  4. gloriammarketing | 12th Feb 18

    This is so so good! We learned in sickness and in health the hard way….I got super lightheaded the day after our wedding from lack of food, then fell off a rock on our honeymoon and cut up my leg, then got home from the honeymoon and he was sick for a week. But, like you point out, through it all – it shows you how good you’ve got it. Great reminders!!

  5. Nada | 13th Feb 18

    I have one of those. We discovered we were surprised with “bonus” baby #3 and boom — I was struck down with nausea so violent I couldn’t get out of bed. I had to give myself pep talks just to roll over. I describe it as mild HG, with no combination of ginger, crackers, peppermint or medication providing any semblance of relief. I was bedridden, without even the strength to brush my own teeth, much less run a home. I’m a homeschooler on top of being the SAHM and homemaker. What was going to happen?

    Super dad happened. Overnight, my husband went from being a regular husband and father to a single homeschooling and working dad who also had to care for an invalid. He did all the cooking, supervised the cleaning, took over all the shopping, directed all the homeschooling, became the Brownie mom and helped our daughter get a gazillion badges, ran all the errands, and attended all the events. The house isn’t immaculate by any sense but most days dishes were done and he had a system for laundry so that was the important part. So what if there were crumbs on the floor or a few baths were missed? Everyone was fed and teeth were brushed, while I lay in a sobbing heap on the floor in the bathroom. If I started craving something, he didn’t balk or wince — that’s what I got. For months I lived in toasted bagels and canned chicken noodle soup because that was all I could keep down. He drove me to every appointment, blood test and ultrasound and then waited patiently in the waiting room because in my weakened condition I was too scared to drive.

    Oh, and he has been trying to set up his own business this whole time. And did I mention he has his own plethora of medical issues, including fibromyalgia, chronic pain and vertigo?

    And he has never made me feel guilty or complained at all. And even though I know I don’t need to apologize, I have repeatedly because I feel so bad for him having to take all this in, on top of his already full plate. And all he ever says is, “It is what it is, honey. You’d do the same for me.” The only thing he asked me to do was, when I felt strong enough, to move myself from the bedroom to the living room so he and the children could see me more. Who could argue with a request like that from super dad?

    I would agree, sickness really does show where your marriage stands. It appears mine is on the firmest ground it could find, because even when the world crumbled around us, we are standing strong.

  6. pwcamy | 13th Feb 18

    This is great – from your knight in shining pajama pants to the advice “don’t get sucked down that rabbit hole” . Great advice and post! Thank you!

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